I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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