This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
