He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
