come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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