Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
