I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
