If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
