eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
