with your own penis?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
They are going to name an STD after you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
