Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
