so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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