how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
