Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm both gender and math confused
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