just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
