we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
