Pregnant stripper...not hot.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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