Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
