Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
