i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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