I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
