can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
