No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
