The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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