i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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