I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize