the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
