I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
