with your own penis?
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
