I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
