it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The air taste purple.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
