check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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