I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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