12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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