dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
