why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
