DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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