how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
