I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
