the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
