You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
