oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
