that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
