the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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