dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize