i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
