hotel room ftw
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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