I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it glows. i had to have it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize