I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
