the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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