So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
