For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Congratulations! We have a period
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