If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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