Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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