What did we do last night that was yellow?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
