I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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