The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize