i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
