I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
