he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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