What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
