Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
