My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
