I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize